


Secrets

by elfenphoenix



Series: My Home is with You [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Childhood Friends AU, Chime by Franny Billingsley, I really love that book please read it, Klance Week 2017: Quote, M/M, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 07:46:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10986549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfenphoenix/pseuds/elfenphoenix
Summary: “Secrets press inside a person. They press the way water presses at a dam. The secrets and the water, they both want to get out.”-Chime by Franny Billingsley, pg. 133





	Secrets

The thing with man-made structures is that nature always wins in the end. No matter how big, how efficient, how carefully crafted they are, sometime far in the future, when the civilization that constructed them is dead and gone, nature comes back in full force, with wind and sand and fire and forest and flood. If humanity neglects its structures for just a bit too long, they will lose to nature. Every time.

The structures people build inside their own heads, to hold back feelings, thoughts, memories they don’t want to let free to ravage the people around them… they aren’t so different. Secrets, like nature, would always come flooding out if the wall wasn’t constantly maintained.

But there were cracks appearing in Keith’s dam.

“We did it. We are a good team.”

_Crack._

“Aw, come on! I thought we bonded!”

_Crack._

And then when Lance had grabbed his hands and told him that he recognized the scar behind Keith’s ear.

_Crack._

Sitting underneath the stars, pretending to be asleep while he leaned against Lance, absorbing his warmth.

 _Crack_.

Keith should have known by now that secrets always had a way of forcing their way out into the open in the end. Pidge was a girl. He was Galra. He had known Lance since he was a child. But just maybe, he could keep at least one hidden deep inside, even if it beat against sides of the dam, trying to force its way out against the stone and concrete he found himself building around it, again and again and again.

_I love you._

They were words that he kept tightly locked behind clenched teeth and crossed arms, as though if he held himself tightly together, he wouldn’t have to set them free, even as they struggled to get out. If he pretended to be aloof and emotionless, they wouldn’t be able to break free, spilling out into the world and flooding everything around him with chaos.

He’d only just found a family– two of them– he couldn’t afford to ruin it. Being friends was okay.

“Hey, are you okay? I was worried you’d get a cold or something, when you fell asleep outside last night,” Lance was saying, an eyebrow raised.

_I love you, you idiot._

“I’m fine,” Keith answered out loud. “It was just a long day yesterday.”

Lance hefted the huge bags full of food and clothes his mother had insisted they take with them when they returned to space, wanting to help keep them safe and healthy in some way, even if there was precious little else she could do to help.

“Let me carry some of that,” Keith offered.

“I got it.”

“You don’t have to–”

“I said I got it!”

Keith clamped his jaw shut, breathing deeply through his nose, before exhaling and saying “fine, whatever. Let’s just go.”

“Wait, Keith… d’you think we could stay… just a bit longer?”

Keith turned around, noticing the loving look Lance gave the town far below them, the light glinting off the ocean water.

_I love you._

He swallowed the words back again. “Allura only gave us one day. We still have responsibilities as Paladins of Voltron.”

Lance sighed, turning away from the town below, and back up at Keith. “Yeah, I know. I just had to say it.”

They made their way up the mountainside again, back to where the Blue Lion was hidden away, among the trees. At one point, when Lance lost his footing and slipped a bit on the rocky earth, Keith helped him to his feet and took one of the bags away from him, despite his protests.

When they got back to the Blue Lion, Lance set the bags down in the cockpit, then settled himself down in the pilot’s chair. “So? What did you think? Was it weird, coming back here? Although… I guess you didn’t really remember all that much, since it was so long ago.”

Keith bit his lip. In all truth, he’d remembered almost all of it. He’d seen the scar on the back of Lance’s leg that one time they’d been stuck in the elevator on the Castle of Lions while trying to get to the pool. He’d recognized it immediately, but had had no idea what he was supposed to say, or do. The boy who had been his only close friend, his “partner in crime”, had been right in front of him. He’d known for quite some time, but they’d had more important things to deal with. Compared to their present, he felt like the past was irrelevant.

“I remembered some of it,” Keith finally answered. “Your mom pinching us on the ear when we were bad. Your grandpa taking us out to the beach with a telescope. The color of your house.”

_And you._

Lance grinned. “Then it wasn’t a total waste, right? Now let’s head back to the Castle! I wanna see Allura’s face when she tries some of my mom’s cooking.”

Right. Allura. Who could possibly compete with a princess?

_Crack._

They flew into the Blue Lion’s docking bay, and began heading back to the control room. All the while, Lance chattered away.

“And I kinda started thinking, ‘what if those guys hadn’t taken you away? Maybe you would’ve just stayed at my house, and I wouldn’t have started hating you when I got to the garrison. I mean, there’s no way you would’ve turned out so grumpy all the time if you were part of my family. Maybe we wouldn’t have had to get into life-or-death situations in order to work together. It woulda been nice, y’know?”

He looked back at Keith, expecting an answer.

“I love you.”

Lance blinked, and then stepped backwards a bit, his eyes wide.

Keith’s hand flew over his mouth. When had the dam broken? How had he just let it spill out like that?!

“I-um-what I meant is- um- I loved… your hometown, and I… uh…”

Lance dropped the bag, walking back toward him and shaking his head. “Oh no no no no, that’s not what you said.” He put his hands on Keith’s shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes. “But I think I didn’t quite hear you right. Can you say it again?”

“No!”

“C’mon, Keith, I need to make sure I wasn’t just imagining things before I answer. Because if I _did_ just imagine it, then what I say might be really awkward.”

“I’m not saying it again.”

He could pretend it hadn’t come flooding out. He could build the dam again. It would be okay.

Lance frowned. “Hey, did you know, I still thought of you sometimes? It was weird; I couldn’t even remember your name, or what you looked like, but I remembered you. It feels weird to be admitting that now, but it seemed important. I mean, why the hell would I be thinking about some kid I only knew for a few weeks… for twelve whole years?! It didn’t make any sense.”

_I remembered you, too._

“But when I saw your scar, I went, ‘oh man, that makes a lot of sense! That’s why we aren’t too bad as a team, even if you’re a part-alien jerk with a stupid mullet and bushy eyebrows– you were my best friend once!’ And just maybe, it made me rethink some things. So if there’s anything really, really important you want to tell me, now is definitely the time to do it.”

“You were the best friend I ever had,” Keith finally blurted, finally letting the last pieces of the dam wash away with the torrent of words. “I thought about you for twelve years, you idiot. That when I was with you– that was happy. But I didn’t get that again. Not at the garrison– I got kicked out then, too. But then we were in space, and a team again, and I remembered how happy I was back then. That I loved that kid back then, and I loved you now. It’s stupid, isn’t it? So do us both a favor and forget I said anything.”

“What, why?!” Lance asked, looking injured. “Do you think I told you all of that for no reason?! You think you’re the only one who keeps secrets, Keith Kogane?!”

“Um… no?”

“Exactly. So here’s mine: I love you, too, idiot. Oh quiznak, that does sound really weird. I’m sorry I kept trying to make you say it again, because I don’t think I’d be able to say it a second time, either. So let’s just call it a truce and keep it in our heads from now–”

And then Keith was kissing him. Not that he’d meant to. He just… did. But it didn’t feel bad. It was definitely _right_. He’d been stupid to keep all of it held back for so long. He should have known it would come out eventually. He’d just been too scared.

Secrets, feelings, emotions… once they break free of the dam, they just flood out in an endless torrent, washing away any remaining doubts you might have. But once you let them free, you find out that maybe, it’s healthier for everything to just take the course nature intended. That the world is much more beautiful when you stop trying to hold it back. Even if it’s yourself you’re trying to keep contained.


End file.
